My V-Day Wish

First just let me explain that I HATE Valentines Day!!! It's not that I'm angry and bitter or anything like that. For me it's just that I'm not a romantic person. In fact, romantic gestures make me feel very uncomfortable! Even just getting flowers freaks me out. I never know how to act or respond to these gestures. So, I just prefer it if they don't happen. Now, can you imagine a WHOLE day where you are EXPECTED to be all cute and romantic and gooshy?! This thought just provokes very uneasy feelings in me. On those Valentines Days when I was in a couple I would always prefer to just not hang out at all, or I would like to just sit with a bowl of popcorn and watch a movie or something really low key.

Besides the fact that I don't like being cheesy, I also don't agree with having a day set aside to be nice to loved ones. In my mind there should be no change in behavior on Feb. 14. I hate the thought that you can treat someone any way you like for a whole year minus one day. You should treat the people you are close to, care about, and love with respect and appreciation every day. This is what my V-Day wish is.

However, to all you lovers I hope you had a very special day. I realize that some people really like Valentines and I would never pass judgement on them for looking forward to it just because I think it's silly. There are some couples who love the romance and love being gooshy, and for them I am glad they have a day where they can goosh all they want. I'm also glad for me that they have that day. Valentines Day is one of the best days to be a waitress! I feel a little bad for exploiting people's love for each other, but I am human.

Anyways, I just hope we can all show each other how much we care about them.

Love love

My 92 Year Old Crush

The man on the right is the real Major Winters. The other man, Damian Lewis, played Major Winters in Band of Brothers. Both men are studs! I fell in love with Damian Lewis first because he was the one I could see. I watched him charge onto open battle fields, strategize, care for his men, take things with humility and humor, and stand up for what is right. Also, when Band of Brothers first came out I didn't realize that Easy Company was a real company of sodiers. However, when I learned that Major Winters was a real man and that he actually did the things depicted in the mini series, I could hardly believe my heart. What a man he must be! It is hard to fathom his courage and bravery and his quick thinking in a time of utter chaos. My friend Courtney and I would watch the series and just swoon! Well our hero passed away on January 2, 2011.

It's sad to think that without an "entertaining" mini series of WWII most people wouldn't even know about all the brave men of Easy Company...or any company for that matter. We can't understand what it was like. I think that's so sad, and yet I am so grateful! I am grateful to all those who were so brave that I'm sure God saved them for just that purpose. Without them we wouldn't be living the lives that we do. It's sad that the ones who lived through it and can tell the stories are passing away. That was my favorite part of Band of Brothers...when they had the real men talk about their experiences and memories.

Anyways, this is just my way of saying goodbye and thank you!

Love love

My 9 Lives!

Oops...I did it again! I have JUST been through my second rollover!

I have always had this belief that I was invincible! Every few years I am reminded that I am not. First there was the motorcycle accident. My dad, my brothers, and I were riding to Sturgis for a motorbike rally when I drove off a cliff! Luckily where I went over it was more of a hill. Had I gone over a few feet to the right I would have died and probably never have been found. As it was I landed a ways down this hill and my bike fell on top of me...there we were...my bike pinning me down as we slid down this hill, and I without a helmet on. My brothers and my dad, thinking that I am dead, come running down. Jordan ran/rode my bike back up for me because I was shaking too hard to do anything for a few minutes. What did I do after that? I hopped back on my motorcycle and tried to act as though nothing had happened. There was no way I was about to lose face in front of the men in my family.

A year and halfish later a couple friends and I are headed to Utah. My friend Laura is driving (Laura I really hope you don't mind me using your name). It's pitch black out, raining, and we go from blacktop to gravel. Well we lose control and are fishtailing all over the road...literally from one side to the next. Just before we hit a power pole on the one side of the road the car veers straight into the ditch on the other side. We hit the side of the ditch (which is the base of a hill) and roll, and then we flip. The moment we hit I saw a spray of dirt hit the winshield and then I felt a lot of glass hitting my face. It was in that moment that I felt certain I was going out the window (I wasn't wearing my seatbelt). I got tossed around a bit, and even landed on the gearshift at one point, but I managed to stay inside the vehicle. We all managed to stay inside. Just what do 3 young and crazy girls do after they have been in a rollover? They climb out the windows, climb a hill to get cell service, cuddle up in a blanket until their ride arrives, take pictures when their ride arrives, gather their things from the road and ditch, go to the hospital just in case, and then they borrow another friends' car and continue their drive to Utah!

Now for today...I was driving home from work thinking I was just the best driver in the whole world! I even said that at work today. I wasn't serious of course, but I do think I am a good driver. Anyways, I was going along at a pretty good pace (because thus far the road had been clear) when I hit a patch of black ice. My car instantly spun around and hit the ditch hard and fast. Then it flipped. My very first thought was that I needed to call my mom, but I couldn't find my phone. So instead I started assessing myself. I checked for open wounds, broken bones, and bruising. Where did I hurt? What was my pulse, my resps? Was I bleeding anywhere? Then...oh no, my face!!! Is my face ugly? No seriously, I needed to know that (in waitressing your face is your money maker). Fortunately my face survived.The next thing was to find my phone and call my mom. But, a couple people from home had stopped to help so I grabbed the vitals out of my car (my phone, my iPod, my passport (it had just come in the mail), my AMA card and got into my ride. I couldn't call my mom then because that would be rude. I eventually made it safely home, got checked out, went back and grabbed a few more vitals, took some pictures...and blogged about it!

Oh...so here is the lesson. Life is precious? Lol! It totally is, but just then I felt like a really bad cliche. It's just crazy how quickly things can happen. I didn't even think I was in a dangerous situation. The important thing is to move on though! I can't control what happened, and my life isn't going to stop happening. I still have laundry to do, a house to clean, and a job to get to. The show must go on!!!

Love love

My TV Dream Men

There has got to be something seriously wrong with me! I am obsessed with fictional characters from tv shows! I'm sure I'm not the only one and all...but there has got to be some line! To be honest I can't even count or recall all the loves of my life. My newest one though is Colby Granger from Numbers. HOT, MUSCULAR FBI man who you come to realize is also a super sweet and yet mysterious guy. The kind of guy you would love to take home to your mother...and all your friends (ummmm ya...to make them jealous of course). Oh and did I mention that he used to be a soldier and he has those sexy issues that help make him so mysterious? Well in the season 3 finale you find out he is actually a double agent who is working for the Chinese. I seriously almost started crying! I am so obsessed that my heart was literally broken! I don't yet have the internet at my new place so I jumped in the shower right then and rushed over to my parents house to look him up. I have barely said two words to my parents and haven't even glanced at the brownies that I can smell downstairs. This is huge for me seeing as how dairy, sugar, and meat are the only food groups that exist to me. Anyways, when I found out he was a double agent I convinced myself that they were wrong. I knew he had to actually be a triple agent employed by the CIA or NSA against the Chinese. I had to be right! Turns out...I totally am! I can breathe once again...now that my lungs are no longer being crushed by the pressure of my heart bursting over and over again! So, now I am off to Lethbridge to get season 4 so I can watch my new boyfriend some more.

Wow, I have got to get a man!!!

Love love

Confirmed Expectations

When my brother first started dating his now fiance I knew he would marry her. She is so cute and sweet and he has been so picky that he hasn't really dated. I knew that the next one he dated would be "the one" (just a note: I don't actually believe in "the one"). Obviously this was confirmed when they got engaged. I was so happy for them! I love my little brother so much and he loves her so much, so there was no way I couldn't be happy for them. They have found each other and they make each other happy. I believe they build each other up and both try to be a better person for the other one. They make each other laugh, and this makes everyone laugh. Despite seeing all this and knowing all this I still had a small sense of dread. The time had come yet again to be in the "single spotlight."

At some of my siblings weddings I was not even of age to get married and yet people still made the "so when is it your turn" jokes. This only got worse as I got older. I have delivered wedding invitations at every wedding and everytime I do they look at me and ask if they are for me, if I am finally getting married. Bahahaha! Man, could they ever be wrong!

Anyways, today I took a small stack of invitations to family friends. As expected I got all the same comments. Ahhhh...this is my least favorite thing about coming from a small town. Everyone knows everything about you...or at least they think they do. It is so annoying! Don't get me wrong, I love where I come from. I hope that if I ever have kids I can raise them in a town just like mine. It's just annoying sometimes.

So far, my expectations have been confirmed and I expect that at the wedding I will only be more in the spotlight. Oh, and I'm the only single one left in my family! It's gonna be great and I can't wait! Bahahaha!

If I ever get married I expect that all my siblings will be as helpful to me as I was to them. Lol...that is meant to just be picking fun at them (I have never really thought that I do much for my family)! Don't worry guys because I don't plan on actually gettting married. Between my work and all my vacations I just don't think there will be anytime!

But, Jordan and Mandi I love you guys! I am so excited that you have found each other and that you are making an eternal commitment to each other. This is one of the most amazing things anyone can do. You are both so wonderful! Oh, and thank you...now I have an excuse to get a new dress! Love ya!

Love love

This is so Totally Cheesy!

Ok, so I was having this bad night quite awhile ago and was thinking a lot about my kids and how I didn't want them to go through some of the same emotions I have. By my kids I mean my nieces and my nephews. They are the most important people/things in my life and I think about them a lot. I wrote them this little note with no intention of ever showing them, but for some reason I want to share it with everyone else? Don't ask because I have no reason why.

To my Kids: Don’t Wait for the Rain

To all who read this: don’t ever take anything for granted! I cannot stress to you how important this is. If I could take each one of you aside and teach you one lesson it would be what I have stated. I want you to understand that everything can be taken from you in a heartbeat. I want you to love God with all your heart and I want you to find your strength.

As I write this I am sitting in a room by myself with tears streaming down my face. I have taken so much for granted and I wish that I had learned this lesson much earlier in life. There is so much power in life, in our physical makeup and in our souls. There is so much majesty in God’s creations. There is no feeling equal to standing at the top of a mountain looking down upon a white paradise and seeing the hand of God in the beauty of every tree and slope and white flake. I love waking up in the morning and knowing that I am going to have the energy and strength and health to make it through the day.

If I could do all my days over again I would spend less time worrying about myself and more time enjoying life. Pain and heartbreak come, but I say bring them on. Feeling means knowing that you are alive! Instead of regretting the choices I made that led to my heartbreak I would be grateful that I was able to feel that. Pain teaches us lessons. It defines the corners of our rough, dull souls and smoothes and polishes them into a precious stone. Pain makes us who we are and we have the choice to become bitter and close ourselves off to the world or to grow and strengthen our character. If we choose the latter then we will still feel pain, but we also open ourselves up to everlasting joy.

Enjoy the sounds and the smells that surround you. One day these simple things may be taken away from you and you never know how much you will miss them. Every day we go through life oblivious to the small and tender mercies given by God. I think that is why I love the smell of rain. I feel like God is washing the earth and the scent that accompanies a fresh rain is the smell of that cleansing. By doing this God is letting us know that he is here. If I could do it over again I would take the time to enjoy the splendor of all nature instead of just waiting for the rain.

Enjoy being tired. I don’t sleep; mostly because I spend my nights thinking about things that I cannot change. I think about you. I think about how much I love you. You are my entire world. I think about my mistakes and my accomplishments. I used to get so angry because I would wake up so tired and worn out. I am coming to realize that now is the time to enjoy every moment that I have. There will be plenty of time to sleep. Life is so short and there is so much to accomplish.

I cannot look back and say that my life to this point has been a great success, but I can look back and say that I have loved the best I could. Kids, do not judge because if you do then you are going to miss out on some great friends. I know! I almost missed out on the best friend I ever had. Be open and tolerant to everyone. I have found that the key to this is to love God. We all have a gift that we were given when we left the presence of our Heavenly Father. He blessed us with the ability to be like Him. If we truly understand this then we know that we can love like God. His love is eternal, all encompassing, freely available, unconditional, and deep. God does not recognize race or gender; all He sees is the soul that He created. Oh my kids, if you love God you will strengthen your relationship with Him. In so doing you will become closer to Him and can become more like Him. Then you can love like Him. I need to tell you that you cannot measure the greatness of your life by how well you were loved but by how well you loved others (I read that somewhere and really liked it). Give all you have to those you love and to those who need your love. Lose yourselves. Lose yourselves in love and service to others.

It takes strength to cast aside our own fears in order to help others. It needs to be done though. Life is hard and it’s so easy to get caught up in it. It’s easy to look at ourselves and say it’s not fair, but things can always be worse. Turn to those who need you and you will see what I mean. You will have struggles, but embrace them. Take everything that life hands you, smile and laugh, and throw it right back.

There are always going to be forces working against you. Learn now and learn young how to overcome them. They are never going to stop, so get a head start. You will learn about people in life who changed the world. Become like them and be strong. Love yourselves and realize the great gift that lies within your soul; a fighting spirit. You are all worth all the love in the world. Embrace the greatness that was given to you.

Don’t be like me! I realized too late the worth that was given to me. I have spent too much time doubting myself. I can no longer understand why I did that. I have a soul that fights. I am full of love and strength; even if I am the only one who knows it. However, you never know the impact that you have on those around you. So, in the face of difficulty be who you were made to be. Keep moving and don’t ever find yourselves waiting for the rain.

Love love

Words of Wisdom

Ok we all know this person...the guy (or girl) who is in a relationship but who is constantly flirting with anything that has breasts and wears a skirt. We all wonder what the deal with that person is and I will tell you exactly what it is. They love the attention! Obviously the relationship is not satisfying them and they don't have the guts to end it, so they just take whatever they can get outside of it.

There is a guy from work who is like this. He is super flirty with me and sometimes I think he likes me. He calls to check up on me if I don't see him for awhile and we even meet for lunch from time to time. The guy has a girlfriend!!! I realize that doesn't say much about me that I like hanging around him and getting the attention from him. I have liked him for awhile, but I would never do anything about it while he is in a relationship. I have come to the point though where the whole thing bugs me so much that I would NEVER let anything happen. Still, I am way less than impressed with myself. I hate that I allowed someone to put me in a potentially compromising positon of my integrity AND my confidence. What kind of person does that to his girlfriend first of all, and then to a friend second. Then I come to find out that I am not the only girl that he is like this with! Are you kidding me! This just repulsed me! Needless to say I don't even have the desire to be his friend anymore.

So, to anyone who is in the position where they have feelings for someone who is in a relationship but is super flirty with you I say RUN! Don't let them in. Ya you can secretly fantasize that one day they will realize how wonderful you are and that the person of their dreams has been there the whole time. Just realize that they aren't the person of your dreams! How could they be? First of all they obviously haven't yet grown any balls and are still stuck in a junior high adolescence. Second, deep down inside you kow you feel bad for his girlfriend and that the whole situation is messed up. You and her deserve better than that! Besides, if he is gonna be like that with her then he will be like that with you too. You are better thant that! The man of your dreams will have eyes only for you!

Love love